Chibimagic's Weblog

Archive for April 2012

5 am

Posted on: April 7, 2012

Something snaps in my head, and suddenly I am awake. A pressure in the loins, a tenseness in the neck. As I make my way to the bathroom a light flicks on inside me and the projector reel clicks to life, whirring through worries.

Back in bed I stare through the blackness at his ceiling. It’s much too early to be awake but neither can I get back to sleep. I need something. In the dark I search for headphones. I cut open a hole in my head and pour in the slow, hot wax of my active playlist. It fills me, heart and soul, beginning in my toes. “Imminent heartbreak,” the words echo. A thumping in my head, an aching in my heart. In this early darkness, the first darkness, I am alone and not-alone.