Chibimagic's Weblog

New

Posted on: February 16, 2012

One can trace the threads of thought through a screen of frazzled existence. It’s sunset on the second floor of a popular coffee shop on a crowded street. It’s a moment of quiet reflection and longing.

It’s too much: cooped up at two 3′ x 3′ tables with 3 coworkers for 6 straight hours. The cacophony in my head pounds relentlessly. Constant questions—interjections—comments—interaction — no spare moments for thinking. But, suddenly, as they pack up to leave, an unexpected pang of emptiness, and all I can think about is the endless eternity that stretches between now and dinner. It’s terrifying, the newness of feeling. I am afraid of becoming dependent on people. On others’ existence in my life. It’s a complete reversal from the safe nights of hiding quietly behind a dim comforting screen. And once again, I don’t know what it means.

Or: constantly being aware of my car. Constantly, mindfully focusing my attention on speed, revolutions, gears. Some days I pull the door closed behind me and all I want is to rip out the manual shifter, fling it across the driveway and let my car think for me. In some ways this car runs against something I believe in with every fiber of my being: that you shouldn’t have to think about things you don’t care about. I am not sure if I care about cars.

Everything in life is so new and different. I am happier, I think. Happier, and more worried.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


  • None
  • Marketing Consultant: You're an great writer. You have brought up some really interesting insights. Just wanted to say fantastic blogs! I know tons of people see your write
  • optical franchise opportunities: Right now it looks like Wordpress is the preferred blogging platform out there right now. (from what I've read) Is that what you are using on your blo
  • startup speaker: Interesting content. A magnificent article. It is very informative and you are obviously very knowledgeable in this area.

Categories

%d bloggers like this: