Chibimagic's Weblog

3 down, 1 to go

Posted on: February 6, 2012

By some luck or happenstance or fate conspiring, four evenings of events with him are lined up in a row. It’s mildly excruciating, seeing him so frequently. Gazing at his form standing across the room, partly obscured by other partygoers; sitting in a group at dinner, his face fuzzy in the periphery of my vision; grazing his hand as he hands me the dice for my turn. With the slightest turn of my head I could center him, bring him into focus, but I dare not.

It’s hardest immediately after. The quiet walk to the car after everyone has split off, alternating lingering glances. In that pocket of silence, there’s a brief moment of glittering hope – maybe, tonight. I want to shove him through my door, hold him down against the passenger seat, peel off each item of clothing, make his body writhe under my touch. But we exchange looks, and it’s dashed quickly against reality. We settle for a hug that lasts just a hint longer than appropriate. This is the worst of all possible worlds, except for all the others.

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