Chibimagic's Weblog

Archive for September 2011

If I squint, I can see it.

“Talk me down.”
“Whats the matter?”
“Same thing as before.”
“Stop it. You’re better than that.”

A fine thread of happiness weaving its way across my vision.

“Do you think you have a high self esteem?”
“No.”
“It probably accounts for a lot of your malarky.”
“Malarky?”
“Malarky. Tomfoolery. Shenanigans.”
“Malarky.”
“Anyway. Today isn’t over yet. You agreed to speak your mind. So what’s on your mind, kiddo?”

I like what it does to me. How it makes me feel. The person it inspires me to be.

“You’re going to tell me to tell him that.”
“I wasn’t, actually. If you were predisposed to take that advice, you wouldn’t be here.”
“Okay. Tell me something else.”
“I already threw out both of those, and you didn’t bite to either.”

I want to reach out and grasp it, but it’s so new and small and delicate. I wouldn’t know how to fix it.

“Do you know what would make you happy? It’s non-rhetorical.”
“No.”
“That’s a problem, then.”

And if I did manage to snag it? What else would it dredge up? All those questions that I left unanswered so long ago. Lurking. Waiting.

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